Moving with Kids

It is tempting to think that moving should only involve the adults in the family.  But if you have children, you know how intuitive they can be. Kids know when something's up. They can sense change, they don't like it.

 

Younger children are more emotionally strong when they have schedules - when to eat, when to nap, when to play. Children thrive on stability. They love routines.  If their schedule gets interrupted, what is going to happen? Either they will act out or get cranky in the most public place possible, right? Happens every time.

 

Packing up moving boxes and the rest of the disheveling that naturally comes with the moving process, even the most organized one with the help of checklists, can shake a small child's world.

Perhaps their only memory of home is the place they currently are. Their home is a part of their security. It is where Mommy and/or Daddy are. They connect comfort and safety with the place where they live. Their things are there, their friends are nearby. Most of their memories are associated with that place.

 

It is best to put yourself in their shoes for a moment and realize how traumatic a move can be. Discuss it with them. Try to involve them in the packing of their things, and yours, as much as possible. If they feel useful and part of the moving process, their moods will brighten. Make a game out of it.  When the moving company shows up, make sure smaller children are occupied and do not get underfoot. Have a friend or relative watch them closely. Expect them to want to be the center of attention and get upset if they are not. Introduce them to the movers so they are not afraid of strangers taking their things away.

 

With older children, understand that they will be sad to leave their friends. Their peers are their identity. So is their room. For pre-teens and even teens, their room is their private sanctuary. Expect resistance to change to be strong. Discuss it with them. If possible, include them in the search for the new place. Let them feel they are mature enough to be an integral part of the move. If they can drive, send them on errands. Let them search the web with you and explore the new neighborhood, the parks, things to do, the newspapers on line. Acquaint them as much as possible with what the new place will be like for the family.  Help them visualize it. Point out the good things. Let them search social sites (with your supervision of course) to find pals in the new area who can clue them in one the cool things to do.

 

Above all, be real. Be positive and upbeat, but let them know if you become over stressed or over tired. Don't let them push your buttons. You know your kids are experts at that.

 

Allow yourself plenty of time to contact school officials, get records transferred, get their medical records and any prescriptions squared away, etc. Have a going away party to include their friends. Allow older kids to have a sleep over with their closest friends prior to the move so they have time to say their goodbyes. 

 

When traveling long distances, have plenty of DVD's or their game stations available. Let the younger ones pick out  a few games and toys to take with them. Something brand new may be a good surprise the first night in the motel or new place.  Don't pack the favorite teddy bear or pillow. Haul it in the car with you.  Let them help care for the pets. That way they think less about themselves and won't brood as much.  On the road, allow them to order their favorite meals. Make it a special time together and the move will go a lot smoother.

 

Finally, be sure to check the box "Moving With Kids" in the checklist section of MovinGood so the special things that need to get done when it comes to  moving with your kids will show up on your lists.